Christmas 2005 came and went, and my final semester at LSU began. I was almost done, and beginning to realize that I had no idea what I wanted to do next. I began to get restless again, and as I'd always selfishly done in the past, I hurt the person who loved me so much. I began to be afraid of settling down...what if he wasn't "the one?" What if there was something out there I was missing out on? So, I broke up with Jacob. I broke his heart. We screamed, we fought, we cried...but I didn't back down. I knew in my heart that he was the one I wanted to end up with, but I tried to convince myself otherwise. I secretly hoped he'd be there waiting for me later when I was ready to settle down.
That spring, I heard about a summer job working for the Truth anti-tobacco campaign on the Vans Warped Tour. This seemed like a dream to me, and I assumed it was unattainable, but I applied anyway. That was my toughest semester yet, and I spent a lot of time studying, writing, and filming different projects. I also worked at an Italian cafe called Monjuni's, alongside Jacob and several of his friends. I spent many weekends driving back to my home town of Monroe to visit with friends. Midway through the semester, I received a call to do a phone interview for the Warped Tour job. I was ecstatic that I had even been considered. The phone interview went well, and I was invited to New York City for several days of group and solo interviews with the company that puts on the Truth campaign. It was spring in New York, and my friend Kristi joined me for the trip. On the last day of interviews, I learned that I hadn't been selected as one of the 8 that would do the tour, but I was selected as an alternate. So just in case something were to happen to one of the 8, I'd be in. I was devastated, but sure I'd done my best.
Back home, I got a call that one of the girls that had been selected was disqualified, and I was offered the job. I saw this as the opportunity of a lifetime, and I quickly said yes. I was also able to somehow convince the people at LSU that this summer job of traveling the country on a tour bus should count as my required internship for Mass Comm. After all, I was marketing for a campaign.
After my last final, I packed up my apartment and prepared to leave for the summer. I flew out of Monroe and landed in Maryland, the tour's first stop. I reunited with our group that I had met during interviews, and we quickly became friends. It was like a season of "The Real World," but on a tour bus, in the middle of a loud and crazy music tour. It was a wild summer, and one of my most memorable. I worked all day in the blistering heat in the middle of about ten stages with different bands playing constantly on each one. I marketed my anti-tobacco campaign to the youthful attendees of the Warped Tour, and tried to convince them to believe in my cause. Some days, we did a great job. Others, we were tired and hung over. There were nightly parties in the midst of several hundred tour buses. We stayed up late drinking and stumbling through mud and dirt fields in the middle of various U.S. cities. Often times we would forget which city we had arrived at in the middle of the night, but it was always exciting to crawl out of my small bunk in the morning in a new place. I saw the country, one city at a time, within a span of sixty days. There was a party in every city, and with my Warped Tour backstage pass, I was always on the guest list. I befriended members of the bands who had been in my ipod for years. It was a dream job, and I loved it. Although each repetitive day seemed endless, the tour came to an end all too quickly. I was sunburnt, tired, and 10 pounds heavier after a summer of catering and eating out.
I returned home to Monroe for a few days to visit with friends and family. Jacob and I had been in contact throughout the summer, but it was usually an infrequent "I miss you" text at 3 a.m. I was cruel, and ignored many of these messages. I can remember driving over the bridge into New York City to attend a tour party and texting him in the back seat. We were arguing again, he was a constant reminder of the real life back home that I didn't want to think of. I planned on moving to California after tour to look for a job, and already had a roommate waiting out there for me. I took one last trip to Baton Rouge to visit friends, and to see Jacob before I left. Nothing had changed. He was the same handsome guy I'd left, and my feelings for him were still there. As hard as it was, I remained detached from him. I could see it was killing him, and inside I was hurting. But I drove away.
I picked up a friend from tour at the airport in New Orleans. He and I explored the city for a day, then drove back to Monroe to prepare for our drive to Los Angeles. My mom cried as we drove away, and I thought this time, it was for good.
I found a job at a small Entertainment Company in Beverly Hills called Novi Entertainment. The guy that owned it managed several big-time rock bands, and was rarely in the office. It was just me, and occasionally another girl who did marketing for him. He paid me $400 a week to sit in his office and answer his phone. October came, and Jacob and I had been talking again. We texted often, chatted almost daily. I remembered why I fell in love with him in the first place, and decided to fly home for my birthday to visit. It was a great weekend. I fell in love with him all over again, and this time realized I didn't want to lose him. We spent the next two months flying back and forth between Los Angeles and Baton Rouge. By Christmas, I decided I was ready to be with him forever, and planned to move home. I made the excuse to our landlord that I just found out I was pregnant, and needed to go home to be with my boyfriend. Little did I know, that excuse would soon turn into my reality.
No comments:
Post a Comment